


Bedside

by MaddieandChimney



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: F/M, trigger warning: car accident
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:21:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24037285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney
Summary: It had been one year, seven months and five days since she had seen him in a hospital bed. And she had put him there.
Relationships: Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17
Collections: Madney One-Shots





	Bedside

0.3 Bedside 

It had been one year, seven months and five days since she had last seen him in a hospital bed. She knew because it had been simultaneously one of the best and worst moments of their relationship. She could remember the way her heart thumped against her chest as she was wheeled into his room, actually seeing him for the first time since she had been dragged past him as he lay bleeding on the ground outside her apartment. Logically, she knew it wasn’t her fault what her husband had done but she still felt responsible and there was an underlying fear that Chimney would feel the same. 

One year, seven months and five days ago, she had never felt more responsible for the pain of another human being than she had right then. She may not have been the one holding the knife but he had been in that hospital bed because of her. 

And here she was again, staring at the man she loved who was, once again, in hospital because of her. She tried to shake it off, but the guilt came in waves, heart-breaking, overwhelming waves because no matter how much she tried to tell herself she couldn’t control the actions of other people, there was still something she could have done different. 

Tears streamed down her face, before they landed on the bed, next to his hand that she held a tight grip on. “I’m sorry, Howie.” She whispered, “I’m so sorry, if I could—“ 

“If you could what?” Maddie jumped as she heard the familiar voice behind her, but she didn’t look up and didn’t reply. So, the words were repeated before she saw her little brother kneel down next to her, his hand moving towards her cheek so he could gently wipe the tears that still fell before he sighed, “You do know this wasn’t your fault, right?” 

When she glanced up at him she could see the pleading in his eyes, “I-I wasn’t driving the car that hit him but I was the reason he was in the car in the first place. I love him so much, I don’t understand why I keep.. hurting him.” She saw the flush of anger in Buck’s eyes, and she could almost see the way he tried to calm himself down before he opened his mouth. “You are not responsible for this and you were not responsible for Doug.” 

It was all he could say in the moment, he didn’t know if there were any words that would convince his sister otherwise. And Maddie was glad he had seemingly given up because the guilt was embedded and no kind, well-meant words would change that. The hand that wasn’t gripping onto Chimney’s moved down towards her stomach, coming to a rest on the growing bump as she closed her eyes. In her head, she apologised to their son, for letting his dad down once again with her own selfishness. 

Buck’s hand moved on top of hers and he gave her a small smile, “Chim wouldn’t want you sitting here feeling sorry for yourself and beating yourself up, Mads. It’s not good for you and it’s certainly not good for my nephew. Why don’t you go grab something to eat and walk around? I’ll stay with him.” Her head shook quickly, horrified at the very thought of leaving his bedside until he opened his eyes and told her he was going to be okay. He’d forgive her - he’d probably never think to blame her – but she needed to know before she could move. 

“Not yet.” Those were the words she settled on as she pushed his hand away from hers with a shake of her head. She was stubborn, and they both knew it would be pointless arguing, she was going to stay where she belonged just as Chimney would do for her. She didn’t look up when her brother left the room with a soft sigh, making a mental note to apologise to him when she was sure Chimney would be okay.

He was going to be okay. A broken nose from the airbag, several cracked ribs and a broken collarbone alongside the cuts from shattered glass that covered his arms and hands from where he had managed to escape the car. Despite the pain he must have been in, Chimney had made his way to the other car to check on the driver that had drunkenly swerved into oncoming traffic. Her grip on his hand tightened as she thought about how hard he had fought to save the life of the man who could have so easily killed him, to no avail. 

“You could have been safe in bed with me..” Maddie eventually whispered, “I know when you wake up you won’t want to hear my apologies, but I really am sorry, Howie. I will never, ever send you out at three in the morning to get me ice cream again. You could have died and— I can’t live without you. I can’t do this without you and I don’t ever want to think about how I’m going to raise our son without you again.” She sobbed before she lifted his hand to her lips and she pressed a soft kiss to each of his fingers. “I’m so sor—“

This time she was cut off by another familiar voice, hoarse and pained but a voice she knew and loved so well, “I think your ice cream may have melted.” Somehow, despite her guilt and sadness, Maddie still managed to let out a chuckle before she stood up, letting go of his hand for the first time since she had arrived at the hospital and rushed to his bedside. 

“I’ll go find your doctor.” She assured him as she bent over to press a kiss to his lips, not able to stop herself from smiling when his hand moved towards her bump. “I love you.” She murmured against his lips before she pulled back and moved towards the door. 

“Maddie?” The woman gulped as she turned around to face the man she would one day call her husband, “Stop blaming yourself.” His eyes were serious, his tone stern and all she could do was nod her head, not able to find the words but also knowing she didn’t need to. He was going to be okay and right then, it was all that mattered.


End file.
